Trying to determine if parenthood is for you?

Here are some tips I can give to help you get through any baby fever you might have currently or in the future and determine if parenthood is the life for you?

Make a bowl of your favorite food. Eat most of it. Look forward to the last bite and then throw it in the trash because if you had a kid they’d ask for it and because you will have already screwed up in the parenting department that day you will give it to them to make up for the other things.

Start cleaning your house/dorm/apartment, but every few minutes throw some of your things back on the floor. 

Go to sleep at night and set 3-4 alarms (if you want multiple children set more) to wake yourself up. Then get up and walk to the kitchen before going back to sleep for an hour before doing it again.

Take all of the laundry you own and throw it on the bedroom floor, bathroom floor, living room floor, and right next to every laundry basket you own. Then using positive self talk and energy drinks, try to see if you can do at least 7-9 loads in one day. Fold it then make sure to throw at least half of it back on the floor.

Go buy Cheetos and juice. Crush the Cheetos into the floor of your vehicle and dump some of the juice into a cup holder. Let it set for a 7-10 days. Clean and repeat.

Hide at least 1-2 apples under the back seat of your vehicle. 

Pick up as many things as you can carry then have someone add 1-2 more items to your load and see if you can make it from your house to your Cheeto/juice filled vehicle without dropping everything.

Wipe food on you shirt then go out in public. 

Play hide and go seek with your shoes, but make sure they hide in separate places. Everyday.

See if you can convince a turtle to put a coat in the closet…or on.

Rub toothpaste all over the bathroom counter and leave your toothbrush on the floor.

Go find a puppy with adorable eyes and try to scold it.

Dump cereal on the floor for hungry mice to eat, but don’t clean it up right away as you’d be taking care of other children or cleaning other messes.

Do your dishes at least three times a day.

Sleep on the 5 inches of space closest to the edge of the bed while trying not to fall off.

Redecorate your home by coloring on the walls with permanent markers.

Think about the things you’d really like/want/need to do, but don’t ever do them.

Repeat these things everyday for at least 7 years. Assess whether or not these things bring you happiness. If they do, then parenting might just be your cup of tea. May the force be with you. May God be on your side. May their stubbornness be less stubborn than your stubbornness. Good luck. 

P.S. Let it be noted that I do LOVE my children and thoroughly enjoy them being present in my life. I just pray they develop OCD.

Bye friends.